The Byproduct

      It seems we are all looking for good looks, wealth, fitness, and of course sex appeal. We want it all and we want it now.

The Byproduct

     Our pop culture tells us we should have all of this and that it comes neatly packaged in a secret formula or a pill. Accordingly, the pursuit of happiness has become a perpetual quest for instant gratification.

     We all know or have seen people who are rich, or popular, or in positions of power who look like they have it all. However, when we look closer we find problems with alcohol and substance abuse, marital difficulties, depression, poor health, and a multitude of other difficulties and frailties. We are tempted to be jealous, but need to learn to be content in the knowledge that an ongoing commitment to hard work and service to others always pays off in the end.

     One of the ironic rules of life is that the pursuit of fulfillment and satisfaction, aka happiness, can’t be pursued. Rather, it is the natural byproduct of what we contribute to life. Happiness isn’t a goal. The harder we try to achieve happiness, the more elusive it becomes. Happiness comes out of our hard work and our actions. Happiness isn’t the goal, but the byproduct of our actions.

     Despite all the claims we hear, the truth is that the road to fulfillment and satisfaction has two simple yet difficult prongs. Hard work and service to others are the building blocks for a life of joy that is built over a lifetime. Certainly there are tips, tricks, and efficiencies on the path along the way. But, there is no shortcut or magic path.

     Perhaps this is an area where Ironman racing is a perfect metaphor. The hundreds and hundreds of hours of training, focus on nutrition, and equipment details all lead to those precious finish line moments. Certainly there are techniques and training approaches, but in the long run there is no shortcut to the finish line.

       Service to others works the same way. Dale Carnegie says that it is impossible to be depressed if you are helping others. Finish line volunteers are always smiling. Likewise, work that has meaning to others is always more satisfying.

Becoming the byproduct,

David

A Better Version

       Are you looking to be the best version of yourself you can be? If so, what new are you doing this year? Where are you looking to improve? How are you going to do it?

A Better Version

       One of the fun aspects of life is that if we are pursuing fulfillment and satisfaction we are progressively creating a better version of ourselves. A great way to get started is to define one simple goal spiritually, physically, professionally, and with your family (the Four Anchors) and take some action toward those goals each day. In doing so, we are constantly evolving into a better version of ourselves.

       Perhaps, fortunately, it is easy for me to find areas to work on. I always seem to be “under construction” or in continual need of development. A better version is always in process. Certainly I can find ways to be a better father and husband. Even though I am aging, there are continual health and fitness goals that will help me live a higher quality of life. Spiritually, aren’t we always a work in process? Lastly, of course everyone knows that a lawyers work is never done.

       So, if we have shortcomings, what do we do about it? How do we get started? Remember, the first step to all success is action. At some point we have to stop the talking, stop the thinking, stop the planning, and move forward.

       A common trait that separates all winners is action. They are doers. They move. The good news is we will beat 99　percent of all people simply by defining two or three action items and then doing them. It doesn’t take brain or talent. It only takes action.

        If you want to join me in becoming a better version of yourself in 2012, take time to write down a few daily action items. Put this where you will see it daily. Then, commit to taking daily action. Just get up and go!

Creating a better version,

David

Time Advantage

       We all have the constraints of time. There never seems to be enough time to get everything done that we want to do. How do we live life to the fullest and do everything we need, and want, to do? It seems we always run short on time.

Time Advantage

Time is a great equalizer. No matter what other resources we or others have, we all have the same amount of time. We all have 24 hours in a day, and seven days in a week. It is the same for all of us, yet some people seem to have more time than others.

Time must be optimized in order for us to be our best and live life to the fullest. We all know people who work hard, or train hard, with limited results or successes. Why? Perhaps they are spending time but it is not optimized or used most effectively.

To maximize or time we use our choose to use our time wisely, and we must use our time with optimal efficiency. Perhaps these seem like two sides of the same coin, so let’s discuss these concepts further.

Wise choices for our time is the allocation of how we use our time. Many people simply get in a habit of spending large blocks of time, unintentionally, unproductively. This dilemma was the origin of The Four Anchors which is a method for filtering how we use our time. We must choose to use our time wisely if we want to optimize our successes, as well as our fulfillment and satisfaction with life. Deliberate use of time is reflected by the choices we make on a continual basis.

After we determine how we allocate our time, we need optimal efficiency is using our limited time for maximum effectiveness. This means that once we choose how to use our time, we must then optimize the time we have for maximum effectiveness and the best results. There are all sorts of books and resources on time management tips.

The key is to get a system that works for us and consistently and intentionally do them on an ongoing basis. This means becoming a doer and this takes action. Most people never get started and are not doers, so you get ahead simply by taking action and not stopping.

There is an old saying that “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” Busy people know how to optimize their time. They are the doers that get things done . . . and they don’t stop! Get time on your side!

Making time,

David

Resolution Ride

        Do you ever make resolutions for the New Year? Every year for the past 25 years or so I have done my annual “Resolution Ride” on my mountain bike. I leave home very early New Year’s morning so that I can sit on the little hill on the west bank of Salem Lake and watch the sun rise. I have been out in cold, snow, rain, and everything in between. The last couple of years have been cloudy and/or rainy, but this year was spectacular!　

Daybreak 2012!

          Resolution is a decision to do, a commitment. Commitment is a sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose; binding yourself emotionally to a course of action; or, to make a pledge or dedication. Wow, these are powerful words!

         So, let’s spend some time reviewing resolutions. Resolutions can take many forms. They seem to divide into two big categories of pragmatic and aspirational. Pragmatic are specific such as a goal to lose ten pounds. Aspirational goals are not as empirical rather more like becoming more patient, a better dad, or strengthening relationships.

        Resolutions typically fall into categories like weight loss and health, personal betterment, professional development, volunteer more, educational advancement, and spiritual growth. Many people make more than one resolution every year. Interestingly, folks rarely actually keep their resolutions.

        So, how do we make resolutions stick? Find a partner to make a similar resolution so you can help keep each other on track. Experts say it takes about 30 days to break a bad habit and form a new one, so stay at it. Post your resolution in a place where you will see it often such as your bathroom mirror, dashboard, or computer screen. Most of all, be your own cheerleader.

         I aslo want to share some additional inspiration tips from my friend Rajesh Durbal. Rajesh is a triple amputee Ironman Finisher. Rajesh says:

It’s a great experience to live with passion in every area of our lives. Every major invention, innovation and industry changer. It’s all built  on the core trait of people’s passions. Identify your passion:

                           1. Write the feelings you envision your life to have.

                           2. Associate those feeling into 5 goals.

                           3. Visualize yourself in that very moment hitting the goal, and how you feel.

                           4. Do at least one action each day towards that goal. (Emphasis added)

                           5. Protect your Journey and Dream, of leeches.

Together, we can make 2012 a great year,

David

Gifts

      Exchanging gifts is an exciting and fun part of the holidays. It brings family and friends together. It gives neighbors a reason to visit, and many times they are a token of thanks for the past year.

Gifts

       I suppose it is a bit cliche’ to say the best gifts are not tangible, and that it is better to give than to receive. However, when to looking to design a lifestyle on the road to satisfaction and fulfillment we find that these adages are absolutely true.

      So, what gifts are most important for us to give, and to also receive? Of course the gift of unconditional love always to comes to mind. But, remember that these intangible gifts are reflected in our actions. So perhaps a underlying action that applies to all aspects of life is mutual encouragement and support.

      Interestingly, you have to give in order to receive these gifts. Moreover, the more you give the more you get. Accordingly, the amount of encouragement and support you have to accomplish your goals is directly under your own control.

      Further, it is usually interesting that successful people, in general, make others successful too. Happy people usually make others happy first. A happy, lasting marriage works when both give first.

      Relationships with family and friends may be the best gifts we give and have. The foundation of these relationships is love that is expressed through ongoing encouragement and support. This continues and strengthens through good times and bad, successes and failures, and all that life throws at us.

       This holiday season remember to cherish the year round gifts of encouragement and support, and remember that the more we give the more we receive. Give your best!

Giving gifts,

David

By Our Actions

         What do our actions say about us? Individuals and groups show what is important to them by their actions. People won’t always believe what we say . . . they’ll always believe what we do. We are, and become, how we act.

By Our Actions

        Around the holidays we spend a lot of time with family. If we truly want to show love to our family members, we show that in our actions. Simply spending time with them, listening to them, and hanging out together are positive actions for good family relationships. And how about simply enjoying family reunions (on both sides of the family!). Remember, children learn by what we do more than what we say. These actions truly show our intentions.

       Spiritually, our faith is revealed by our actions. Do we live out the tenets of our faith, or do we trade off our time, energy, and resources spent in more self-serving ways. Critics of any faith often point to the hypocrisy of actions. They believe what we do.

        What do our actions show about us professionally? Do we actively work toward service and professional excellence, or are we just doing what we have to do to get by? Our repeated actions reveal our commitment to the vision of the organization and our role in being individually and collectively responsible for ongoing successes.

        Do we physically take care of ourselves? Our actions are necessary for a healthy and fitness lifestyle. We need to prepare ourselves for the “long run” with action, not intentions. Further, our physical actions are necessary to set a good example for others. Physical health is one of the most important actions we can pass along.

        As athletes we know that our training today prepares us for our future events and challenges. The running shoes don’t do any good in the closet, we need to take them out every day – literally and metaphorically.

      Tomorrow is determined by our actions today. Accordingly, future goals and successes require positive action today. Consistent execution of daily action becomes our future . . . and it all happens today!

Committed to positive action,

David

Recommit

         The holidays and the end of the year are upon us. As we close out one year and look forward to the next it is a good time to recommit to the fundamental pieces of our lives that are important to us and make us who we are.

Recommit

        I tend to have one eye looking backwards and reflecting on the past while at the same time the other eye is looking forward to the new year and the future. Do you find yourself in that same situation?

        We should take time to allow ourselves to recount and enjoy our successes over the past year. What goals did we accomplish, what gave us fulfillment, and what did we do for others? At the same time we can look forward using the same questions as goals as we recommit for 2012.

        Perhaps one of the successes we can look back on is the joy of sharing and propagating a positive healthy lifestyle for our families, our community, and ourselves. Despite all of the negative health stories in the news, it appears our community continue to be and improve as positive community for active people to live.

       As we reflect and recommit we can see that in all areas that are important to us take ongoing work. We know that continued ongoing success requires consistency over an extended period of time. If we recommit to the positive items and efforts that are fundamental to us we find that our ongoing journey is progressively positive for ourselves, and for others.

        In looking back and looking forward I typically review my Four Anchors of family, professional, spiritual, and physical aspects of my life. These are the fundamental areas that are an important to me and the filters through which I evaluate the past and recommit for the future.

David Daggett – NC Lawyer Magazine

View more documents from David Daggett

        Please join me in reflecting back on the lessons and successes of 2011 as we recommit and prepare ourselves for future successes in 2012.

Recommitted,

David

Difficult Issues

          Do you have a hard time facing difficult issues? Perhaps we all do. You would think that as athletes we would have an easier time facing tough situations.

Handle Those Difficult Issues!

        Facing difficult issues is a fact of life. We each face them every day, some of them big, and some of them small. We face them at work and we face them with our families. Life at times can seem to be a constant stream of difficult issues – you know, the tough things to talk about.

       Examples include talking about interpersonal issues that are interfering at work, or talking to young people about the dangers of drinking, drugs, and sex. Or, how about issues that arise in churches or social organizations. You know, the elephant in the room that everyone knows is there but noone wants to talk about.

        The question is do we confront them or try to avoid them. In my profession as a lawyer difficult issues are just part of the terrain. Yet, you would be surprised how hard of time even lawyers have dealing with difficult issues. Human nature it seems tends to avoid conflict.

       Most of the time the hardest part about dealing with a difficult issue is just getting started. Once you take that initial action, and actually deal with the situation it really is not that hard to move toward resolution. Conflict resolution ultimately more positive than conflict avoidance.

       Many times, tackling a difficult issue, or a problem, involves taking a small pill now as opposed to choking on a large, or catastrophic, pill later. Time and time again experience shows us that simply addressing and dealing with a difficult issue on the front end serves us better as we progress forward.

       When we are faced with difficult issues we need to stand tall, address them in a positive and optimistic manner, and move forward to the best resolution possible. Doing so frees us to better handle any situation or confrontation as well as better ensure the future.

Taking them as they come,

David

Put The Thanks Back

        Are we thankful? I was thinking about this question not individually or rhetorically, but collectively as a society. I’m not sure we are thankful. Perhaps we have been blessed in such abundance that we take it as a given, or worse as an entitlement.

Put the Thanks Back!

Our family had a terrific Thanksgiving! We started with all five of us running the annual Turkey Strut 5K to benefit the Food Bank. We have made this a tradition and look forward to starting our day with an emphasis on giving, combined with heath and fitness.

Our holiday continued as time spent with family and friends. We had a house full on Thursday with me cooking the turkey on a charcoal grill as the kids helped. Cindy had a beautiful table setting complete with homemade traditional side dishes. Our guests ranged from ages four to almost 89. We had diverse backgrounds but joined in the common ground of fellowship and thanks.

Back to our society – are we thankful? It seemed that during the day’s football games every commercial was for sales, with each trying to one up each other for the earliest opening time. Midnight seems to be the new norm, with some opening as early as 9:00 Thanksgiving evening. Fights even broke out over who was where first. And then, comes cyber Monday!

If we are thankful why do we focus on wanting more, and more? Why do we want to line up by the thousands to buy more and more stuff that we really don’t need? It seems to reflect the gluttony of society. I really want to avoid being self righteous in reflecting on our family’s holiday, since we at times reflect the society I describe.

Perhaps the recent economic struggles weren’t enough to shock us back to what we traditionally valued. Individually and as families, though, we can work on returning to remembering true meaning of holidays.

Did I mention that we had four place winners, and the fifth had a new PR? We are thankful.

Put the thanks back,

David

Do Unto Others

       Being good to other people is universally the right thing to do. Further, kindness shown to others always comes back to benefit us someplace, somewhere. For some this is easy and natural. For others, this takes work.

Do Unto Others

        In the athletic community there are many examples of doing good for others. The Ironman community in particular seems to have a lot of helping, mentoring, and giving people. Perhaps that is one reason why the sport has grown exponentially in the last several years. Giving makes us better, and I believe it makes us faster too!

         Our family has experienced a good examples of extraordinary kindness through our children. When our daughter participated in an exchange program with fifth graders in Portland, Oregon the host families in Oregon were exceptional. The love and kindness they showed our daughter will be a life-long lesson for her, and hopefully encourages her to impart this goodness to others.

         Of course, it is a lesson for us too. The best way to insure the future of our communities is for each of us to love another child as much as we love our own. If we do that, we will have no worries about our future. Many thanks to all you show love to our kids!

       I am always impressed by our team at Daggett Shuler, Attorneys At Law and the goodness they show toward each other and toward our clients. Further, through our Safe Sober Prom Night program they show these same positive characteristics to members of the extended community.   It makes a difference in the lives of others.

       Some of us ( me) need continual reminders of the golden rule. In fact, I still keep at the front of my desk drawer at work a ruler I was given in Sunday school when I was very young called “The Golden Rule” which has the verse from Matthew 7:12 imprinted on it “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

       The beauty and bonus of the golden rule is that it is spreads good deeds making our families, businesses, church and social organizations, and communities better.

So too I will try to do,

David

How’s Your Defense?

        It was so exciting! Our 10-year-old daughter scored the last goal of the fall field hockey season. With little fanfare or celebration, it was then her turn to play defense for the rest of the game.

How's Your Defense?

       Kids love to play offense. They are excited when they score. Parents and fans jump up and down, and holler with excitement. We all love the thrill and excitement of scoring. The kids also know that they are a team and that it takes all of them. So, they rotate positions and take turns playing defense.

       Celebrate your defensive team. When our daughter scored the field hockey goal, we celebrated the offense. Offense often gets all the credit and glory, but we have to have a defense to be successful, too. Those in the background, working without making a goal, make our team complete and allow us all to move forward.

        Of course, there’s an old saying that offense gets the glory but defense wins games. The important lesson is that in sports, just like in life, we all have different roles that we play at different times. We all have different personalities, different gifts, and different talents. All roles are important which makes all of us better than each of us.

       The great coach John Wooden, who I met and talked to 30 years ago, had a rule for life that when you score give someone else the credit.  Coach knew that winning is a collective effort that takes the efforts of all. Appreciate the efforts of all.

      Enjoy the goal, but remember to honor and thank those in supporting roles – we couldn’t win without them.

Working on defense,

David

Stewardship

         Character is revealed by our actions. We become how we continually act. Perhaps this is one of the greatest lesson of stewardship. We are called to be good stewards in the community, at work, spiritually, for our planet, and even athletically. Along the way, stewardship makes us better in the process.

A Good Steward

        Long time friend Joe Loshiavo is Aid Station Director for the Ironman World Championship.

          Service is a cornerstone of stewardship. In his book How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie points out that it is impossible to be depressed if we are helping other people. Most recently, in the latest edition of Consumer Reports there is an article that documents improved health and longevity through serving others.

         This time of year is stewardship season at churches and religious organizations. The first thought that comes to mind when discussing stewardship is money. Money is certainly necessary, and important, but money is just a piece of the stewardship puzzle.

         The practical reality is that stewardship is a multi-dimensional concept to which we each and all bring our gifts, talents, and service. Stewardship includes money, volunteering, service, leadership, encouragement and support, and even our daily little kind acts. Each of us sees stewardship from our own perspective. It is when those individual pieces fitting together with prudence and purpose that makes the stewardship puzzle successful.

         Stewardship demands that we are prudent and diligent with our time and resources. We have all seen organizations that are financially stable, but lack vibrancy, life, and therefore fall short of all the good they can do. Conversely, we have all seen organizations with good people and good hearts that fail to succeed due to lack of finances or organizational prudence. Perhaps this is why stewardship becomes such a difficult topic to discuss. It takes a multidirectional approach usually with organization leadership that can put the pieces together, while we each do our part.

         Perhaps the best description of stewardship that I have heard is by our senior pastor, the Reverend Dr.　Green who describes stewardship as what we are doing today to preserve and pass on what is important to future generations. Perhaps this is a daily call we should heed in all important aspects of our lives. Along the way our character is revealed by what we individually and collectively become.

Working to be a good steward,

David

Willingness

        Are we living true to ourselves, or are we wishing to be something else? We all seem to have an insatiable desire to define ourselves and our lives as “the best.” Perhaps competitive athletes are the worst at this tendency. In order to find fulfillment and satisfaction it takes a willingness to be who we are, and the best we can be.

Craig Alexander (Crowie) - Ironman World Champ

It seems we many times get caught up in a relentless pursuit to be better than others. We become slaves to worrying about and comparing ourselves to what other people are doing. Only when we have the conscious willingness to forgo this destructive comparison are we then freed to be who we really are.

The “illusion of validity” is a phrase used in a new book, “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” by Daniel Kahneman. In an effort to be comparatively better than others we guard ourselves with an illusion of validity that actually limits who we can be. We develop a facade of thinking that we need to be the best and then live to validate that illusion.

Of course we need to have the drive and desire to work hard and to be the best we can be. When we drop the illusion that we need to be the comparative best, then we can generously support others as part of our journey which allows us to fully accept and respect ourselves.

Willingness to be our true selves is an attitude that supports us as we struggle to be who we are and all we are meant to be. When we give up the illusion that we are the best, we are then freed to be the best we can be.

Willingly,

David

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Hawaiian Heart

       Fond memories of Hawaii still make us smile. Of course, the experience at the Hawaii Ironman World Triathlon Championship was a highlight of the trip. Further, Hawaii has beautiful weather, mountains, beaches, and sparkling water. However, perhaps the most lasting memory of the trip for our family is the “Hawaiian Heart.”

Hawaiian Heart

        The Hawaiian people openly welcomed us and shared their culture. They naturally and intuitively helped us with their language. They introduced us to their food, dance, and traditions. In additions, there were thousands of volunteers that worked the aid stations during the race.

        It seemed that everywhere we went, and everything we did, we were greeted with a genuine and friendly welcome that was special for our family. During one particularly pleasant encounter with a native Hawaiian we were complementing them on their hospitality and treatment of our family. She responded that that is just part of the “Hawaiian Heart” – we felt it!

      We all know how important it is to have heart. The ironic thing is that the “heart” can’t be seen. It is the outward expressions and actions that reflect the heart that we are then able to see.  You know it when you feel it.  One becomes a measure for the other which for the receiver becomes one in the same.

Hospitality You Feel = Heart

      With all of our fond memories and reflections of the Hawaii trip and experience, perhaps the most lasting are all of the individuals who combined to share their collective Hawaiian Heart with our family. Perhaps it’s a lesson that we can continue to share with others.

Aloha and Mahalo (from the Heart),

David

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Turn It Around

        Don’t you admire people who have an uncanny ability to turn any situation around for the better? When you meet them, these people naturally turn the focus from themselves to you. They also tend to turn their weaknesses into strengths. They leave every interaction better than they found it, and have a knack of always turning negatives into positives.

"Turn It Around!"

       The most lasting and impressive memory after meeting Rajesh Durbal is not his physical disabilities, but rather his ability to turn any encounter or any situation into a positive experience. His humble passion ignites a positive passion in others. He makes us see past our own limitations and look toward positive opportunities.

        Rajesh is an amazing person. He is the first triple amputee to compete in and finish an Ironman triathlon. He recently finished the Hawaii Ironman World Triathlon Championship for the second time. Our family had the pleasure of meeting and talking with Rajesh several times. We are all part of his fan club and enjoyed cheering for him on race day.

        There is no need to feel sorry for or pity Rajesh. On the contrary, moments after meeting him you immediately are inspired by his passion, faith, and positive attitude. Do we sometimes have problems that we think are so big that they can foil us? After talking with and then observing Rajesh, we quickly see that there are opportunities in every weakness to turn them into a strength.

          Of course, limitations need a circle of support in order to progress and succeed. Interestingly, that circle is, well, circular. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that the circle develops when you decide and act as part of the circle, and not the center of the circle. In doing so, the circle then expands beyond what we previously thought possible.

         Our ongoing memories and friendship with Rajesh have little to do with his physical disabilities, and everything to do with his amazingly positive attitude, loving heart, and humble friendship.

Turn it around,

David

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Ko Aloha La Ea

       Ko Aloha La Ea is Hawaiian for “Keep Your Love” and was the theme for this year’s Hawaii Ironman. The saying comes from the Battle of Kuamo’o in 1819 where the Hawaiian people fought to protect their religious and cultural rights known as the Kapu System.

Ironman Finish - “Keep Your Love”

        I have memories forever seared in my mind of the final stretch of the Ironman down the famed Ali’i Drive through the massive crowds and to the finish line. We came back later to see the final finishers with the crowds even larger and more supportive. The spectators, particularly the Hawaiian people, exhibited Ko Aloha La Ea

       The lesson to me, and that I will try to work on is remember to “Keep Your Love” in all aspects of our daily walk through life. Encouragement and support while pursuing excellence athletically, professionally, spiritually, and with our families are more powerful if we “Keep Your Love.”

      Love exhibits itself in passion. Passion brings heart and emotion to all of our pursuits and makes them more meaningful. The Ironman course had over 5000 volunteers. The volunteers passionately helped all competitors and we could feel their love. They are examples for all of us.

       The support of family and friends reveals a deep love. Cindy and the kids were out there all day supporting all the athletes and showing their love. They helped me, cheered for me, and took care of me. They did it all with a giving heart full of love.

        The athletes in an Ironman have a special bond and a comradery that transcends competition. There is an understanding that each of us is pursuing our own goals in search of personal excellence. While we love competing, we understand that competition is the individual pursuit of excellence and not the domination of others. We are wished the best for each other.

      Embrace life and embrace love. We will all be better if strive to live Ko Aloha La Ea and “Keep Your Love.” That will be part of my personal goals for the coming year.

Keeping the love,

David